Category Archives: Weight-loss

Where am I?


IMG_0274Things have not been going so well in the weight loss department. On any given day the scale says 176-179 now, and I had been down to 172. It was hard focusing on weight loss while going through fertility treatments because I am an emotional eater. And infertility is an extremely emotional disease. We’re on a break from treatments until October though, and I had hoped to re-vamp my efforts. It hasn’t happened. Summer hit, and I keep getting the urge to splurge on ice cream and fried cauliflower. I haven’t been counting my calories, nor using the best judgement. I own up to that, but where do we go from here?

I haven’t neglected my work outs. I still jog 3 miles 3x a week. I also try to walk, weather permitting, whether it’s just a quick walk around the block,  the library (3 miles round trip), or the zoo (5 miles round trip). I keep hoping to add more yoga, utilize my Kinect, or try a workout video- that hasn’t happened yet either. It’s hot, and we don’t have central air conditioning (just a unit in one room of the house) so that does put a damper on things. The humidity and heat combine so that getting chores around the house is hard, let alone workouts. I had hoped to improve my lung capacity and put my asthma in check, but as I’ve aged it’s only gotten worse. I quit smoking (for good) almost three years ago, and yet my asthma is worse now than it was then. I’m still jogging though, and that’s 500 cal a jog. I’ve increased my speed to 5mph, up from my original 2.5mph. I’m putting the effort out there, and despite the chronic back pain, I haven’t let up.

My room for improvement lays in my diet, and my determination. I need to count my calories everyday, allowing myself an off day. I used to do this, but I stopped somewhere along the way. In the past few months I’ve been yo-yo’ing, counting one day then not the rest of the week. Trying for two days, then throwing in the towel. Keeping under 1,500 cal is very difficult for me. I’m always hungry. A little hunger is normal, it’s a good thing, but I feel ravenous all the time. I’m trying to make healthier choices though. I bought healthier snacks, more fruit, better lunch options, and started meal planning. Today I had cereal, then a veggie pita with cucumbers, swiss cheese, peppercorn ranch, and lettuce, with a cup of grapes. For dinner it’s going to be a tuna casserole, which could be healthier, but it’ll do. I wrote out all the dinners for the week, so there is less hemming and hawing over lunch/dinner during the week. I used to meal plan, but stopped when I landed on bed rest in my pregnancy.

I’m a big fan of meal planning, but it also makes me realize how limited I am in my meals. I’m going to have to leaf through my cook books and maybe introduce a “new recipe” night. I don’t always do well with trying new foods. I am an extremely picky eater. My husband is on the other end of the spectrum, he’ll eat anything, so he doesn’t have a problem with trying new things. For me though, most of the time I make something new and don’t end up eating it. It’s something I’ve tried to work on over the years. My latest was mulberry pie. I’m not a baked fruit fan, but I have an overzealous mulberry tree in my yard, so I decided to make use of it this year. First bite was hesitant, but I’m hooked now. Not the healthiest option but it’s something new, and I’m using berries that would otherwise just be littering my yard.

So that’s where things stand. I haven’t regained a ton, but it’s still a significant setback. I need to do better, and this break is the perfect opportunity. By September I’m hoping to be a little smaller, otherwise I might have trouble with my bridesmaid dress. And we do not want that! In October or November we’re returning to the fertility clinic for another go, and it won’t hurt to be a little smaller for that. The closer I am to me ideal weight, the better. Here’s to hoping this week can be the launching point I need!


April 2013 Weigh-In


April 16 2013 So far I like MyFitnessPal. It seems to have made some difference, and it hasn’t been to much of a pain to use. So, there’s that. I haven’t been starving, or struggling as much (but I do still struggle) with staying in my calories. I haven’t really lost anything off my waist or hips, or noticed anything visual, but I am down 2lbs. So that’s something!

Hopefully my progress will continue. I have hit many hiccups these past 6 months, and I know I will continue to as we proceed with fertility treatments, but I hope to at least maintain (if not lose) in the coming months. I’ll know if this cycle of treatments worked next week, and if it didn’t we have two more months before our break. I think that if it comes to that, losing should be a little easier. Trying to lose weight while undergoing fertility treatments isn’t easy. As someone who’s an emotional eater, it really hits me hard at times. Not to mention worrying about overworking myself, or having to postpone because of triggering, or all the other little things like being exhausted and the meds messing with me.

So far I’ve lost 77.6 lbs. That’s not bad, really. I’m so much healthier now, and that’s huge. I just know I could do better, so that bothers me sometimes. These last 25 lbs have been incredibly difficult to lose. It’s a little disheartening at times, and I have trouble staying motivated. I’ll be honest, my biggest motivation to workout right now? Is so that I can eat more. I think that’s saying something right there. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel kick ass after my jog, I’m empowered, but I’m also exhausted. And food sounds amazing.

Okay, time to wrap this up. Starting weight, 250 lbs. Current weight, 172.4 lbs. I am 3.4 lbs away from being “overweight” according to BMI. And I am 22.4 lbs away from my goal weight… so close, and yet so far!

Varying it up a bit!


I’ve been in a slump. That’s the nice way to put it. I’ve been depressed. Unmotivated. Slovenly. Okay, maybe not slovenly– my only saving grace, the only reason I haven’t been regaining, is my obstinance about jogging. But I could have been doing better in so many areas.

My challenges, after sorting it out, lie mostly in my daily calorie allowance. I could not stay within my recommended calories on Sparkpeople, not while burning through 500cal a workout. My take away calories were only 1,100, and a woman needs at least 1,200 to function. I would stay close to my calories, taking Sparkpeople’s guidelines and amending them… but it was still frustrating, it took time, it still told me I was failing even if I knew I wasn’t. Take into account my thyroid and insulin meds, well, the restrictions were a bit stifling too.

So, I decided to abandon ship. A lot of my friends use MyFitnessPal, so I’m giving it a try for a few weeks. So far, I love the feature that allows me more calories equivalent to my workout. I don’t feel like I’m starving anymore. Hungry? Yes- but not starving. I had a little bit of an issue working with entering my workouts, since I manually enter everything based on my treadmill and my jog that day… it’s a little confusing, and at first I didn’t think I could customize it every day. I think I’ve figured that out now though, so we’re good! All my recipes and meals have been saved on Sparkpeople, so it is a bit of a pain to have to reenter and find everything. You have to remember, I’ve used Sparkeople for years!

It’s different, the set up isn’t what I’m used to, but I’m going to stick it out for a few weeks and see where this takes me. I still love Sparkpeople, and I think it did great for those first 75lbs, but now my level of workout and needs aren’t getting met there. The last 25lbs have been stubborn. They aren’t coming off as easy, and it’s completely understandable- I’m not as active, I’m eating more, I’m lacking motivation.

And that’s the thing, the motivation… part of me is content at this weight, even if most of me isn’t. Part of me is already proud of what I’ve done, and doesn’t want to bother with going further. Part of me is tired of counting every single thing that goes in my mouth. Even tired of jogging at times. I guess you could say that I’m worn out? If I don’t get pregnant this year, I at least want to meet my goal weight though… so I need to get cracking.

I’ve been using MFP for a few days now, and so far I think it’s helping. The scale has went down a little bit, which is good, but we’ll see where it goes from here. Hopefully I’ll have much better news to report at the next weigh in!

In the meantime, I’ve been having issues with my son, my car, fertility treatments, my health insurance… just, so much STRESS. I know it’s not helping in the course of things, but hopefully we can power through this. Tomorrow is a new day. It’s starting to feel more like spring here, and hopefully things will begin evening out and starting anew.

March 2013 Weigh-in


March172013I weighed in at 174.4 lbs this month. That gives me a loss of 1.4 lbs- I definitely could have done better. Still, it’s better than gaining. And it’s better than staying the same. It’s been 12 months since I restarted my weight loss postpartum- I’ve lost 52.6 lbs since then. I’ve lost 75.6 lbs total since January of 2011.

I’ve stayed on top of my exercise, although I did miss a few days walking here and there. I had to post-pone a workout this week because of fertility treatments and side effects from that, but I made up for it yesterday. Which means I’m going to jog two days in a row this weekend, instead of alternating days- I’ll probably pay for it tomorrow!

My biggest issue lately is my diet. As much as I keep saying, “I’m going to do better,” I’ll admit that I haven’t done better. I need to start tracking my calories again instead of just tracking my work outs. I’m really hoping I can kick it up this month though, because I really want to reach my goal weight/BMI this year. I’m 5.4 lbs away from being “overweight,” and 24.4 from my goal weight. I’d have to lose about 30 to reach the “ideal” BMI, but I’m not aiming for that because I feel like it’s too little for my body type.

I went ahead and took another photo, but it doesn’t show much progress. Eh. Still, better to document things just the same. Maybe I’ll have more to show for it next month.

January weigh in


Okay, so I was supposed to do my weigh in yesterday but my entire household has been down with a seasonal bug and I didn’t Jan182012feel like it. I felt yucky, and bloated, and just gross. Whenever I’m sick, I eat. A lot. I tried to curb my appetite, but I couldn’t resist the urge to sit with a bowl of cocoa wheat and a glass of orange juice (even though I’d already met my calories for the day). Comfort foods all the way. It could have been worse though. I stayed on my exercise, despite it killing my already asthmatic lungs. I did intervals to compensate for the limited capacity, allowing myself breaks. In the end, I got it done. I feel a little better today, but I’ve still got a cough and congestion.

So anyway, this morning I weighed in and the scale was nicer to me than I thought it would be: 175.8 lbs, down from 179.6. So I lost about 3.8 lbs this month. I would have preferred more, but this month I did have Yule, my son’s birthday, New Years, and so much running and errands that I completely stopped tracking my calories for about 2 weeks there. So, when you consider that? I think I did pretty damn well! I lost another inch off my waist, and an inch off my hips too. I’ve lost 74.2 lbs total now.

Next month will have its challenges, as my birthday is in less than 2 weeks. It won’t be as bad as this month though, since my birthday is always a quiet affair- usually just dining out and maybe a cake. Still, cake… accursed, delicious, evil, yet oh so  wonderful, cake. It always sets me back some. I can’t throw any uneaten cake away, because that just seems sacrilegious, so I’m left eating it in place of breakfast for however long it takes for it to be gone. At least I have my husband to help me. It’s too bad our son doesn’t like cake!

I have 6.8 lbs to go (according to BMI) before I’m considered “overweight” rather than “obese.” I definitely won’t be there by my birthday, but I’ll hopefully be a little closer!

This month I think I really need to focus on my diet more. I do really good some days, but then other days I decide it’s too much work or I have too much going on- and that shit needs to stop. My other challenge this month, is I think I might exchange some of my walking for some aerobics with my exercise ball. I’m having a lot of lower back pain, and the tingling issues in my hump back are ongoing, and I just think a little variety would be good. I’m going to try to exchange it today, see how it goes, and go from there. I guess we’ll see!



There are some things about my weight loss that continue to surprise me. My neck, for instance. When I was at my biggest, my neck wasn’t as noticeable. It was chunky, I had a double chin, and necklaces didn’t fit very well. Some, not at all. I think that’s the biggest change I notice on a daily basis- I have a neck now. Now, I know I had a neck before. Duh. But it wasn’t noticeable. I feel my physique was more snowmanesque. I had a round head, plopped onto a round body.

There are other noticeable changes aside from my waist/hips though. They’re subtle changes that might not seem like a lot, but they empower me to keep going. Most of my rings don’t fit anymore. My bracelets are looser. Old clothes that were once too tight to wear, are now incredibly loose all over.

I had necklaces that were too tight. My neck was 18-19 inches (probably more, to be honest) at my biggest. I seriously had necklaces I used to wear all the time, and I couldn’t even clasp them anymore. Now, a lot of my necklaces hang much lower than I remember. They have a lot more slack overall.

My engagement ring was a size 9 when I got it (I have big fingers anyway, okay?). As I gained weight, I had to get the size adjusted. Then I stopped wearing it altogether- partly because it kept getting caught on crap, but partly because it was too tight and I didn’t want to get it adjusted again. Now, it’s too loose for me to wear. My wedding ring placeholder (we didn’t have a ring ceremony- so we bought cheap ring placeholders.) was flying off my finger, literally, so I had to downsize to another ring. Most of the rings I own don’t fit properly anymore. And while I guffawed a little about having to adjust my rings again, or about having to buy new ones at some point, I’m actually quite pleased with myself!

For Mother’s Day this year, my husband bought me a bracelet. It was gorgeous, and I loved it, but I couldn’t wear it. My wrist was too big! We could have gotten it added to in order to increase the length, but that would have cost more than the bracelet did originally (which was ridiculous). So I said, “You know, I’m working on weight loss right now- let’s see how it goes, and maybe it’ll fit in a couple months.” And don’t you know, about 4 months (and 20 lbs) later I was able to wear it. It was a little tight then, but it fits comfortably now.

I didn’t see these changes overnight. Or the first month. Or the first couple of months even. But eventually I started to see these changes. Sometimes it feels like it’s taking forever to see progress, but one day you wake up and you can finally see the changes everyone else does.

I love noticing these little things. I know that most people probably don’t notice them as much as me. That they might not seem as significant to some. But to me, it’s the little things that mean the most. It reminds me that I am succeeding. I can do this. I’ve been working hard for almost 13 months now, and it’s showing.

December Weigh In


Well, weigh in today isn’t much different than from my post the other day. This month I’ve lost 6 lbs. I’m sitting at 179.2 lbs. I had lost another pound, but sadly I gained is back from eating poorly and not working out as much, mostly due to a cold I’ve caught. I have no energy to do anything, and I barely finished my workout last night due to diminished lung capacity. I’m really hoping I get over this bug soon!

I did lose an inch off my waist though, and another inch off my hips. Since March 17th I’ve lost 10.5 inches off my waist then, and over 16.5 since I began; I didn’t start measuring myself until after I’ve lost 10-15lbs, so I have no idea how big I was. However, since I seem to be losing an inch for every 3-5 lbs, I’d say I’ve probably lost 18.5 inches now.