I’ve always had issues with my weight, partly because of my PCOS, and partly due to my depression. I’ve been off and on anti-depressants for years. I think things really came to a head when I got diagnosed with infertility though. And after I had my first miscarriage, my weight really started sky rocketing. I weighed 208lbs back then, and within a month I was up to 220lbs. It just got worse as the years of infertility continued, and the miscarriages started piling up. I was more depressed than I’d ever been in my life, and I was also the biggest I’ve ever been… 250lbs.

Christmas of 2010 I looked at my photos and it hit me just how much weight I’d gained, and I was tired of it. I finally said, “If I can’t have a baby by Christmas of 2011, then I’m damn sure going to have my body back.” I started on a weight loss journey, and I lost 25lbs. Then we stopped to try one last round of fertility treatments. Thankfully it worked. Christmas Eve of 2011 I was 40 weeks pregnant and waiting to have my son!

I was really out of shape due to months of bed rest and restricted activity though… it was going to take a lot of work to get back to where I was. But after he was born I knew that I had to continue my weight loss journey, both for myself and for him. So once I stopped breastfeeding, I got back on the treadmill, I restarted my Sparkpeople account, and I got to work.

As of October 17, 2012 I’ve went from 250lbs to 187.4 lbs. I have a lot more to lose still, but I know I can do this. This time I’m driven, and I’m not going to let my depression get the best of me. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ve found that nothing in life worth having is.

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