Where am I?

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IMG_0274Things have not been going so well in the weight loss department. On any given day the scale says 176-179 now, and I had been down to 172. It was hard focusing on weight loss while going through fertility treatments because I am an emotional eater. And infertility is an extremely emotional disease. We’re on a break from treatments until October though, and I had hoped to re-vamp my efforts. It hasn’t happened. Summer hit, and I keep getting the urge to splurge on ice cream and fried cauliflower. I haven’t been counting my calories, nor using the best judgement. I own up to that, but where do we go from here?

I haven’t neglected my work outs. I still jog 3 miles 3x a week. I also try to walk, weather permitting, whether it’s just a quick walk around the block,  the library (3 miles round trip), or the zoo (5 miles round trip). I keep hoping to add more yoga, utilize my Kinect, or try a workout video- that hasn’t happened yet either. It’s hot, and we don’t have central air conditioning (just a unit in one room of the house) so that does put a damper on things. The humidity and heat combine so that getting chores around the house is hard, let alone workouts. I had hoped to improve my lung capacity and put my asthma in check, but as I’ve aged it’s only gotten worse. I quit smoking (for good) almost three years ago, and yet my asthma is worse now than it was then. I’m still jogging though, and that’s 500 cal a jog. I’ve increased my speed to 5mph, up from my original 2.5mph. I’m putting the effort out there, and despite the chronic back pain, I haven’t let up.

My room for improvement lays in my diet, and my determination. I need to count my calories everyday, allowing myself an off day. I used to do this, but I stopped somewhere along the way. In the past few months I’ve been yo-yo’ing, counting one day then not the rest of the week. Trying for two days, then throwing in the towel. Keeping under 1,500 cal is very difficult for me. I’m always hungry. A little hunger is normal, it’s a good thing, but I feel ravenous all the time. I’m trying to make healthier choices though. I bought healthier snacks, more fruit, better lunch options, and started meal planning. Today I had cereal, then a veggie pita with cucumbers, swiss cheese, peppercorn ranch, and lettuce, with a cup of grapes. For dinner it’s going to be a tuna casserole, which could be healthier, but it’ll do. I wrote out all the dinners for the week, so there is less hemming and hawing over lunch/dinner during the week. I used to meal plan, but stopped when I landed on bed rest in my pregnancy.

I’m a big fan of meal planning, but it also makes me realize how limited I am in my meals. I’m going to have to leaf through my cook books and maybe introduce a “new recipe” night. I don’t always do well with trying new foods. I am an extremely picky eater. My husband is on the other end of the spectrum, he’ll eat anything, so he doesn’t have a problem with trying new things. For me though, most of the time I make something new and don’t end up eating it. It’s something I’ve tried to work on over the years. My latest was mulberry pie. I’m not a baked fruit fan, but I have an overzealous mulberry tree in my yard, so I decided to make use of it this year. First bite was hesitant, but I’m hooked now. Not the healthiest option but it’s something new, and I’m using berries that would otherwise just be littering my yard.

So that’s where things stand. I haven’t regained a ton, but it’s still a significant setback. I need to do better, and this break is the perfect opportunity. By September I’m hoping to be a little smaller, otherwise I might have trouble with my bridesmaid dress. And we do not want that! In October or November we’re returning to the fertility clinic for another go, and it won’t hurt to be a little smaller for that. The closer I am to me ideal weight, the better. Here’s to hoping this week can be the launching point I need!

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