I fell off my diet bandwagon hard this past month. We had Thanksgiving, then winter festivities, then my son’s first birthday, and oh my god all the cake, ice cream, fudge, candies, and STRESS. I allowed myself to indulge in soda, and stopped tracking my calories at all. I feel like crap. I’m bloated, I feel exhausted, I’m lathargic- in short, I need to get my ass back in gear already!
My only saving grace has been that I’ve stayed on top of my exercise 100%. I’ve met my weekly goal every time. I could have done better, or found time to walk more, but I did meet my goal and that’s something I’m satisfied with. I increased my jogging speed from 3.5mph to 4mph too- huge improvement for the year, considering I started at a meager 2.5mph! It pushes my lungs more than it pushes my legs, but I can do it. I am very proud of myself for managing that before the year ended.
My birthday is on the 30th, and I was really hoping to be overweight by then. That sounds wrong, right? But I would LOVE to cross the threshold from obese into overweight by my birthday. I don’t think it’s going to happen though, as I would need to reach 169- I’m sitting between 179-182 right now. Not going to happen. If I’m lucky though, maybe I can reach 175 by my birthday. I think that would be satisfactory. It’s going to take a lot of work though; I’ll need to REALLY kick it up a notch.
Right now my biggest obstacle is my diet. I need to refocus on that BIG TIME. I need to stop making excuses. I need to stop saying, “But there’s still cookies left.” and say, “I either need to ration those better, or throw them out already!”
Physically I’m still having problems with the tingling in my back- made worse by bending. The toe numbness too- my EMG was clear though. I have a skin rash on my forearms, so I’m not sure what’s going on with that. I did something to my wrist last night so I’m having a lot of pain with that today. I still have my wrist braces from before my carpal tunnel surgery so I’m stabilizing it for now. I’m hoping that a little rest and ibuprofen clears it up shortly! I feel like a bit of a mess, to be honest.
On top of that all though, we went back to our fertility doctor to discuss my recurrent loss issues. We set up a game plan, and my husband and I are planing on trying for another baby at the end of February. Mind you, I said trying. We have no expectations of actually having a baby at the present time- it would be great if we did, I can continue my weight loss journey later, but it did take us four years to have our son. We experienced three miscarriages before him. We just want to give it a go for now. If things don’t work out, we’ll take a break from July until October, as I’m going to be a bridesmaid in September. As we begin trying, I plan to continue my focus towards a healthier me. I have no desire to lay things aside and relapse. I put enough of our life on hold while we battled infertility before.
So there are a lot of unknowns as we enter 2013. Looking back at 2012, I can be proud of what I’ve accomplished- I’ve lost around 48 lbs, 10.5 inches off my waist and hips, and I only have about 30 lbs left to go (down from my original 100 lbs to go!), I can jog at 4mph now.
I know I can do this, and I just need to stick with it.
Here’s to a healthier 2013!