Monthly Archives: January 2013

January weigh in

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Okay, so I was supposed to do my weigh in yesterday but my entire household has been down with a seasonal bug and I didn’t Jan182012feel like it. I felt yucky, and bloated, and just gross. Whenever I’m sick, I eat. A lot. I tried to curb my appetite, but I couldn’t resist the urge to sit with a bowl of cocoa wheat and a glass of orange juice (even though I’d already met my calories for the day). Comfort foods all the way. It could have been worse though. I stayed on my exercise, despite it killing my already asthmatic lungs. I did intervals to compensate for the limited capacity, allowing myself breaks. In the end, I got it done. I feel a little better today, but I’ve still got a cough and congestion.

So anyway, this morning I weighed in and the scale was nicer to me than I thought it would be: 175.8 lbs, down from 179.6. So I lost about 3.8 lbs this month. I would have preferred more, but this month I did have Yule, my son’s birthday, New Years, and so much running and errands that I completely stopped tracking my calories for about 2 weeks there. So, when you consider that? I think I did pretty damn well! I lost another inch off my waist, and an inch off my hips too. I’ve lost 74.2 lbs total now.

Next month will have its challenges, as my birthday is in less than 2 weeks. It won’t be as bad as this month though, since my birthday is always a quiet affair- usually just dining out and maybe a cake. Still, cake… accursed, delicious, evil, yet oh so¬† wonderful, cake. It always sets me back some. I can’t throw any uneaten cake away, because that just seems sacrilegious, so I’m left eating it in place of breakfast for however long it takes for it to be gone. At least I have my husband to help me. It’s too bad our son doesn’t like cake!

I have 6.8 lbs to go (according to BMI) before I’m considered “overweight” rather than “obese.” I definitely won’t be there by my birthday, but I’ll hopefully be a little closer!

This month I think I really need to focus on my diet more. I do really good some days, but then other days I decide it’s too much work or I have too much going on- and that shit needs to stop. My other challenge this month, is I think I might exchange some of my walking for some aerobics with my exercise ball. I’m having a lot of lower back pain, and the tingling issues in my hump back are ongoing, and I just think a little variety would be good. I’m going to try to exchange it today, see how it goes, and go from there. I guess we’ll see!

Changes-

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There are some things about my weight loss that continue to surprise me. My neck, for instance. When I was at my biggest, my neck wasn’t as noticeable. It was chunky, I had a double chin, and necklaces didn’t fit very well. Some, not at all. I think that’s the biggest change I notice on a daily basis- I have a neck now. Now, I know I had a neck before. Duh. But it wasn’t noticeable. I feel my physique was more snowmanesque. I had a round head, plopped onto a round body.

There are other noticeable changes aside from my waist/hips though. They’re subtle changes that might not seem like a lot, but they empower me to keep going. Most of my rings don’t fit anymore. My bracelets are looser. Old clothes that were once too tight to wear, are now incredibly loose all over.

I had necklaces that were too tight. My neck was 18-19 inches (probably more, to be honest) at my biggest. I seriously had necklaces I used to wear all the time, and I couldn’t even clasp them anymore. Now, a lot of my necklaces hang much lower than I remember. They have a lot more slack overall.

My engagement ring was a size 9 when I got it (I have big fingers anyway, okay?). As I gained weight, I had to get the size adjusted. Then I stopped wearing it altogether- partly because it kept getting caught on crap, but partly because it was too tight and I didn’t want to get it adjusted again. Now, it’s too loose for me to wear. My wedding ring placeholder (we didn’t have a ring ceremony- so we bought cheap ring placeholders.) was flying off my finger, literally, so I had to downsize to another ring. Most of the rings I own don’t fit properly anymore. And while I guffawed a little about having to adjust my rings again, or about having to buy new ones at some point, I’m actually quite pleased with myself!

For Mother’s Day this year, my husband bought me a bracelet. It was gorgeous, and I loved it, but I couldn’t wear it. My wrist was too big! We could have gotten it added to in order to increase the length, but that would have cost more than the bracelet did originally (which was ridiculous). So I said, “You know, I’m working on weight loss right now- let’s see how it goes, and maybe it’ll fit in a couple months.” And don’t you know, about 4 months (and 20 lbs) later I was able to wear it. It was a little tight then, but it fits comfortably now.

I didn’t see these changes overnight. Or the first month. Or the first couple of months even. But eventually I started to see these changes. Sometimes it feels like it’s taking forever to see progress, but one day you wake up and you can finally see the changes everyone else does.

I love noticing these little things. I know that most people probably don’t notice them as much as me. That they might not seem as significant to some. But to me, it’s the little things that mean the most. It reminds me that I am succeeding. I can do this. I’ve been working hard for almost 13 months now, and it’s showing.

The Holiday Funk and A New Year

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I fell off my diet bandwagon hard this past month. We had Thanksgiving, then winter festivities, then my son’s first birthday, and oh my god all the cake, ice cream, fudge, candies, and STRESS. I allowed myself to indulge in soda, and stopped tracking my calories at all. I feel like crap. I’m bloated, I feel exhausted, I’m lathargic- in short, I need to get my ass back in gear already!

My only saving grace has been that I’ve stayed on top of my exercise 100%. I’ve met my weekly goal every time. I could have done better, or found time to walk more, but I did meet my goal and that’s something I’m satisfied with. I increased my jogging speed from 3.5mph to 4mph too- huge improvement for the year, considering I started at a meager 2.5mph! It pushes my lungs more than it pushes my legs, but I can do it. I am very proud of myself for managing that before the year ended.

My birthday is on the 30th, and I was really hoping to be overweight by then. That sounds wrong, right? But I would LOVE to cross the threshold from obese into overweight by my birthday. I don’t think it’s going to happen though, as I would need to reach 169- I’m sitting between 179-182 right now. Not going to happen. If I’m lucky though, maybe I can reach 175 by my birthday. I think that would be satisfactory. It’s going to take a lot of work though; I’ll need to REALLY kick it up a notch.

Right now my biggest obstacle is my diet. I need to refocus on that BIG TIME. I need to stop making excuses. I need to stop saying, “But there’s still cookies left.” and say, “I either need to ration those better, or throw them out already!”

Physically I’m still having problems with the tingling in my back- made worse by bending. The toe numbness too- my EMG was clear though. I have a skin rash on my forearms, so I’m not sure what’s going on with that. I did something to my wrist last night so I’m having a lot of pain with that today. I still have my wrist braces from before my carpal tunnel surgery so I’m stabilizing it for now. I’m hoping that a little rest and ibuprofen clears it up shortly! I feel like a bit of a mess, to be honest.

On top of that all though, we went back to our fertility doctor to discuss my recurrent loss issues. We set up a game plan, and my husband and I are planing on trying for another baby at the end of February. Mind you, I said trying. We have no expectations of actually having a baby at the present time- it would be great if we did, I can continue my weight loss journey later, but it did take us four years to have our son. We experienced three miscarriages before him. We just want to give it a go for now. If things don’t work out, we’ll take a break from July until October, as I’m going to be a bridesmaid in September. As we begin trying, I plan to continue my focus towards a healthier me. I have no desire to lay things aside and relapse. I put enough of our life on hold while we battled infertility before.

So there are a lot of unknowns as we enter 2013. Looking back at 2012, I can be proud of what I’ve accomplished- I’ve lost around 48 lbs, 10.5 inches off my waist and hips, and I only have about 30 lbs left to go (down from my original 100 lbs to go!), I can jog at 4mph now.

I know I can do this, and I just need to stick with it.

Here’s to a healthier 2013!